The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
