this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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