i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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