mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
In America we eat man semen.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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