haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
