Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
