There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
