Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I should be sponsored by Trojan
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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