You can't motorboat a personality
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
