Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
