She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
