Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My life is pants optional.
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