I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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