You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
