Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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