This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
