I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
