Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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