Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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