He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
