I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
