Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize