ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
