we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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