Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
