It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
