Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
