My nipple is on Facebook.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
