She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
