i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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