I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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