i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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