Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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