what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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