it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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