so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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