She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize