I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You were trust falling into bushes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
