She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
