im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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