I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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