So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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