He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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