Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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