if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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