That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize