I have demons in me.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
