When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
