So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
