Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
