when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
