At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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