East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
