This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize