i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
