If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
