i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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