Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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