Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
