Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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