Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
