even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am available for nakedness
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
