i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We are all done wearing pants today
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize