My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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