the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
