Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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