I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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