I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
